It’s hard; difficult, even challenging for us Spectrumites to feel as you’re ever good enough, even when people call me a very strong person. Even when everything is going our way, it’s still hard for us to believe, really believe that we’re as good as we should feel that we are.
Low self esteem and low self confidence is definitely a Spectrumite thing, we really judge ourselves be our neurotypical counterparts, by how good we are compared to our peers because we want to prove that we are not only as good as others, but we’re better.
The question I wish to address is simply this: Why? Why compare us to everyone else?
Myself, I’ve struggled with low self esteem issues, I never really felt like I was worth anything special to anyone, myself included. It feels so much easier to be a doormat for others, like George McFly from the Back to the Future trilogy, specifically the first film. Oddily enough, that’s how I felt at times, asking myself: why? For a while, it seems like “Sorry” is a catchphrase I use to apologize for living, much like Maria from the Sound of Music.
Sometimes, I wish I was different, but such is not to say that I can’t change my bad habits and that today won’t be a different story; to say that I (and other Spectrumites like myself) matter, that our voices and opinions matter to us, our communities, our friends and family.
No matter what, being a Spectrumite can be a tough road, having to find out whom you are, but when one finally realizes that one matters, being humble both in your victories and defeats. It’s honestly something that I’m working on as well, but the good thing is that I’m working on my strengths, just as you can do, too. Together, we can all help each other find our own self worth and…