My therapist recently told me that I needed to drop the facade I’ve had throughout my life, which is easier said than done, especially since it’s something that I’ve learned to do over time.
I do understand why she feels like I put the facade up, but, in my defense, I don’t do so thinking that I’m trying to be better than others. I chalk it up to my parents, they always (at least to me) put up the feeling that everything was all right, even when it wasn’t. That said, I couldn’t tell the difference but my Mom always pushed through it as best as she could.
But it’s been hard for me to pull myself away from that facade, mostly since it’s all I’ve known.
All the time, all everyone sees is a successful Autistic person, who has a car, a college degree, a job with supportive family and friends, but very few people know of the struggles, the disappointments, the sacrifices or the journey I had to take to get there, hence where this acrostic came from.
I want to give people hope, but I also want to be honest with the journey I took to get here, I don’t want to lie to anyone, much less myself. It’s hard to do, though, when you don’t know anything other than the facade. With that said, I present yo you the acrostic that is more than meets the eye:
Instant fame; success hides behind journey;
Cold; harsh winter brings forth Springs fortune.
Even as people ask for advice, an ear to hear
Behind the scenes, all he craves for is rest if
Even a moment. The need, want to break vicious
Recurring theme seeping into his core, slowing
Grating in him, nudging him to find a way to act.
I can’t tell you in all honesty how to live your life or how to help you, dear reader, how to take your mask off. I’m honestly figuring out that myself, but I can tell you that you can embrace the wonderful person you are, even with your flaws.
You’ll discover people, friends and family, who will love you and embrace you for all you are. But you need to be open with them, that’s the first step for you to be open with others, so they know that you’re genuine. When you can be open, you’ll find your purpose, your real friends and most importantly, you’ll be able to reach out, help others, and truly….