My Dad, Dear Readers, always has a saying that he told me that helped him when he was feeling down on himself, he said that my late Grandfather told him that “I thought I was bad off that I had no shoes, until I saw the man with no feet.” I know that I’ve mentioned it before on The Autistic SuperBlog, but those words of wisdom have stuck with me throughout the years.
That being said, I know I’m not alone when depression hits, when nothing seems to be going the way you want them to, or when you deal with constant rejections, stresses and worries, it can’t help but make you feel that what you do doesn’t matter. You start comparing yourself with others that you feel are better off than you are, feeling jealous and bitter all the while. You start to question yourself, even second guessing your actions, or lack thereof and wondering what you’re doing wrong.
If I’m describing depression accurately, it’s only because I know how it feels, mostly because I deal with that on a daily basis. I constantly fight that battle, even when I’m putting on a brave face at times. So, I know all too well how it feels to feel worthless, that you’re not good enough.
Being autistic, much like Adrian Monk (of the Television show Monk fame) can be “a blessing and a curse.” For all the good things that we have, the good things that only we can do, there’s still that feeling that what we do isn’t enough. It feels as if anxiety and depression are facts of life when it comes to autism, as much as it might fit other disabilities.
To be honest, it can be hell. Feeling as it you’re not good enough all while trying to please everyone.
Even with all that, I want my voice to uplift others, to inspire others, even when there are times where I sometimes find it hard to trust my own words. It always helps that I have both family and friends who can see the best in me, they I know of support groups that won’t pass unfair judgements on me.
So, please let me say this in closing, that you are enough, that we are enough, that our trials will make us stronger and better than we were before. We can be better people with support and love from those who care about us so we can all make the world a better place so we can all be supportive to others and, as always…..
Shine On!! Please be kind to yourselves!!