(Repost) The Hot Take: Thank You For Being a Friend, Betty White!!

(Repost) A Not-so-Subtle Tribute to Spring…or Winter.

Before I get down to this post, I want to thank you all so much for reading my “then vs now” post I wrote on Monday, I’ve had a lot of feedback from it , all of it positive and one was negative, but despite that, it really let me know that you all, my readers, really that the post and the SuperBlog are worthwhile, so I just needed to take some time to say Thank You All So Much for your support, your patronage, and your kind words. It means so much to me..

Besides that, I feel like celebrating, I feel like there’s an extra spring in my step, in more ways than one, I feel like the cold is only a distant memory, that the flowers are due to come in any day and all this because of the fact that Spring is officially here!!

Truth be told, I’m not exactly a fan of winter, I like it fine, but I’m not a fan of the season itself. I know I live in the Northeast, but every winter, I feel the need to brace for the storm. It’s just an impulse I have built into me, like many defense mechanisms, such as fight or flight. I guess that’s primarily why I like the first day of Spring, mostly because I know that pleasant temperatures are on the way. I know that those who deal with seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, will join me in celebrating this joyous day, a link from the Mayo Clinic is here for more information:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

The symptoms are the that the person affected may be:

Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day
Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
Having low energy
Having problems with sleeping
Experiencing changes in your appetite or weight
Feeling sluggish or agitated
Having difficulty concentrating
Feeling hopeless, worthless or guilty
Having frequent thoughts of death or suicide
In the case of winter, they can also feel like:
Oversleeping
Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates
Weight gain
Tiredness or low energy

I must stress that SAD is a real disorder which can be misunderstood as the “winter blues.” If that’s the case for you or not, just know that the feelings you’re experiencing now are, like winter itself, only temporary, look at this as a way to know you’re not alone and that together we can all really…

Shine On!!

The Hot Take: It’s All Okay to be Not Okay

Poetry Packed Out: A Somber Anniversary

Greetings, Dear Readers and Listeners! This somber post will admittedly be a repost, but there will be a change to it as well, as I decided to record a poem I called X, for the 10th Anniversary of September 11th, as well as a brand new poem, set in Paris for the 20th.

I hope that it will paint a hopeful picture in light of that tragic day as well as the hardships we’re all dealing with at the moment. So, I hope that you all enjoy these recordings, but never forget to be brave, be kind and, as always….

Shine On!!! God Bless You all!!!

The memories still feel so fresh, vivid images on a screen of something horrible, something we wish was fiction, was happening live in front of our eyes, happening in our time.

Those are the words that come to my mind as we come close to September 11th, 18 years since the most tragic event happened on American Soil. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, even as the hurt might never fully heal. But I digress, I’d like to give you all, my readers, what was going on in my life as September 11 was happening and why it was a scary time in my life.

To give backstory to this, my Dad was already at his job, a security person at the World Financial Center in New York City, he was planning to get some pictures of the recently opened Irish Arts Center, since he’s from Ireland, I’m guessing he wanted to see how it reminded him of his home in Limerick.

My stepmom worked in a building that could see the skyline, so she had a view of the Twin Towers. All while this was taking place, I was watching on a TV set with people who were remodeling my Mom’s bar.
And then, it all changed when the Twin Towers were hit. In the space of minutes, panic, fear and concern filled our hearts. All as people were fleeing for their lives, all except the First Responders who rushed to the scene, families who had family that lived in Manhattan rushed to their phones to make sure that they were all right, nerves were frayed and tears were shed as the minutes passed into hours.

Later on, we had heard of Flight 77 attacked the Pentagon and fear swept us more than ever.
Hours turned into days before people could reach anyone. Some got calls, relieving their fears, while others were not as lucky.

This day, Sept 11, this attack on our land, our freedom, our peace of mind, is something we remember today. We remember those whose lives were lost, we remember the sacrifices that were made to save people, we remember what we, as Americans, should be all about, but most importantly, we remember our courage and resolve to be brave and stand up for freedom.

But that said, never be afraid to be brave, to be forgiving, to be kind so as not to let the darkness win but help us all….

Shine On!! God Bless You all!!!

The Compare/Contrast Connundrum

My Dad, Dear Readers, always has a saying that he told me that helped him when he was feeling down on himself, he said that my late Grandfather told him that “I thought I was bad off that I had no shoes, until I saw the man with no feet.” I know that I’ve mentioned it before on The Autistic SuperBlog, but those words of wisdom have stuck with me throughout the years.

That being said, I know I’m not alone when depression hits, when nothing seems to be going the way you want them to, or when you deal with constant rejections, stresses and worries, it can’t help but make you feel that what you do doesn’t matter. You start comparing yourself with others that you feel are better off than you are, feeling jealous and bitter all the while. You start to question yourself, even second guessing your actions, or lack thereof and wondering what you’re doing wrong.

If I’m describing depression accurately, it’s only because I know how it feels, mostly because I deal with that on a daily basis. I constantly fight that battle, even when I’m putting on a brave face at times. So, I know all too well how it feels to feel worthless, that you’re not good enough.

Being autistic, much like Adrian Monk (of the Television show Monk fame) can be “a blessing and a curse.” For all the good things that we have, the good things that only we can do, there’s still that feeling that what we do isn’t enough. It feels as if anxiety and depression are facts of life when it comes to autism, as much as it might fit other disabilities.

To be honest, it can be hell. Feeling as it you’re not good enough all while trying to please everyone.

Even with all that, I want my voice to uplift others, to inspire others, even when there are times where I sometimes find it hard to trust my own words. It always helps that I have both family and friends who can see the best in me, they I know of support groups that won’t pass unfair judgements on me.

So, please let me say this in closing, that you are enough, that we are enough, that our trials will make us stronger and better than we were before. We can be better people with support and love from those who care about us so we can all make the world a better place so we can all be supportive to others and, as always…..

Shine On!! Please be kind to yourselves!!

A Gravely Situation: A (Not-So Friendly) Firefly Funhouse

I finally did it, Dear Readers.

After hearing numerous things about this Studio Ghilbi movie, I’ll admit that I was hesitant when I read online reviews. Some were saying that it was a poignant movie, others said that it was a depressing movie. That being said, I wanted to see it for myself and (of all times) this coronavirus chaos seemed to be the best time to do so.

I’m referring, of course, to the movie Grave of the Fireflies. All I can say is that not since Titanic has there been a movie that moved me so much to reconsider the suffering that we’re all going through right now.

I suffer from depression, as I think I mentioned in a earlier blog post, and Grave of the Fireflies helped put suffering and discomfort into perspective. It also made me realize the impact that war has on those who are affected. It’s all well and good that we defend ourselves against our enemies, but do we ever stop to wonder about those who suffer from our actions, much less the families that are affected?

That alone should tell you, Dear Readers, the breath and depth of this tragic movie, more tragic when you realize that the impact is very real? To say that Grave of the Fireflies will touch your soul and make you reconsider wars (and the consequences of them) is a huge; monumental understatement.

There’s so much that I want to say about it, but I don’t want to spoil the movie if you’re so inclined. All I’ll say is that you’ll never look at war (or candy tins) the same way again.

So, be brave, be courageous, but never forget to be kind and compassionate and as always…

Shine On!!

A Proud, Yet Somber Repost

I know I usually go into detail into my poems, but I can’t do so in this case, suffice it to say that for those who knew her, no words are enough and for those who didn’t, I hope this gives some insight. 

Support the Blue and as always…

 

Shine On!

 

 

Beats

 

-to the memory of the late Det. Tina Rambo and for all in law enforcement-

 

People in blue

march in formation;

they never asked for the

disreputable

rap their line gets;

the beat is never easy,

they hear from those

who’ve learned to deal.

 

And yet,

they don the blue

anyway,

they know that the truth

will be found out

only in time.

 

For those willing

the mission of those in blue;

to serve

protect

all in thier care.

The first line

against crime,

even against all odds,

they still stand tall.

 

In life

or death,

the beat of justice

still goes on.

The (Un) Merry-Go-Round

It’s so easy for people to hear the good parts about them, Spectrumite or not, we love attention, we crave attention, we want to be noticed; we feel as if our intentions are good (and perhaps they are.)

That, along with the uncertainty of not knowing when my friends and I will be able to reenter the community, made this past week a constant merry-go-round of stress and worry.

That said, I’m getting ahead of myself here, maybe I should explain, Dear Readers, what the reason is for the title.

I’ve been struggling, like really wrestling, with what I like to call my inner demons, the bad cards I have in my life. Specifically, I’ve been trying to reconcile the fact that others consider me to be entitled for all I have in my life. Another thing that I’ve been wrestling with has been a lack of accountability for my actions.

Even though that’s what people might think, however, my life was far from charmed. As I look at my Senior Graduation picture, it was a far cry from the professional pictures that I see others have. I had to reflect on my life, how things could’ve been better in it, if things went better for me. So, yeah, I have the impression of being entitled, but considering how things were for me back then, I consider myself proud of the struggles I’ve had, the blessings I’ve had and the journey that I’ve gone through to get to where I am now.

The reason I wrote this is to empower and encourage you all to deal with your own inner demons, don’t just crave the praise and attention of others. Instead, work on dealing with your demons, try to find the balance between the good and bad parts to you, only then can you truly know your worth, see your true potential and, as always…

Shine On!!!

Now Is The Time!!!

I just want to write this post saying “Thank You!” for those who have helped us during this hectic, chaotic time, our family, our friends, our communities, especially first responders, hospital workers, nurses, doctors and those who are essential to helping us in our daily lives.

The thanks isn’t just for them, but for you for doing your part to “flatten the curve” and helping doctors do their jobs to help others with COVID-19.

Now, here’s the tough part: it’s not over yet.

In this chaotic time in our lives, it’s so hard to give up on hope, to think that things are helpless, to think that what we do doesn’t matter when in fact it does.

Luckily, that’s not the case, far from it. Mostly because we, individually and as a society, are built to be stronger, be better, possibly because of crises like these.

We can survive, we can thrive and (if history is any indication) we will be better than we ever were before!

I know I sound very much like Pollyanna, but I don’t know how to be anything else, especially in times like these. I like to be hopeful simply because I don’t like the alternative, mostly because I know that I have depression.

So, this is my way to encourage you all to keep doing what you’re doing, no matter what it is, please be safe and thank you all, essential worker or not, for all you do for us, there are better days coming, so press on and…..

Shine On!!

Letters For Lent 2020: I’m a Hope Dealer!!

(Writer’s note: Please note that this post was written on Monday, February 10, 2020, before I practiced my Lenten observance, one of which is being absent on social media, but the message remains relevant)

You can imagine, dear readers, that I’m not a pessimist by my very nature, I like to be hopeful, I like to be light in others’ storms, I like to make a difference in my community.

That being said, there are times when the bad times in my life can overwhelm me, even forcing me to feel bad about myself. It’s in those times where community, friends and family can make a huge difference. I’m lucky to have a community that is willing to understand me, even as I know of others who aren’t as lucky.

One person who has been helpful to seeing the better parts to me is my dear friend, teacher and coach Joe Defino, whose mission is to help us deal with addiction, dealing with it with his efforts, one of which is called Hope Rocks. The link for the events is here: https://www.hoperocksny.com.

Joe has a heart of gold as well as a big heart for his community. He became aware how the opioid crisis was affecting him, mostly how many former students passed away due to drugs and addiction of all kinds. Some of these former students were my friends, so I totally understand how hurt he is, and how much he wants to change those proverbial cards and give hope to others.

His example inspires me to volunteer as much as I can, so I can show others that there is hope; there are better days coming. I do my volunteering to give others hope, especially the older generation, whose past was trapped inside institutions, which darkness was their only friend.

Hope is possible, even in the darkest places.

Hope is available, even when you may think it’s all perfect.

Hope goes beyond the tears, fears and everything in between.

Trust it, believe it, feel it and use it to help others..

Shine On!!!