Who Rocks? You Rock, Rocky!!

Who Rocks? You Rock, Rocky!!

(Repost) The Bright Side of The Spectrum

(Writer’s Note: This was written, Dear Readers, before the advent of The Autistic SuperBlog, but I feel that this note is just as true when I wrote it to the current date. With Autism Acceptance Month winding down, I just ask you all to look at the bright side of the Spectrum and grow your respective talents so that we can all..

Shine On!!!)

-written with thanks to Eric Dominick Rutlante for the inspiration for this note-

Recently, I was reading an article from a friend who has Lyme Disease that reminded me that, even though life comes with its challenges; its hardships, it’s also true to say that it’s also a blessing. It was a moving article, one that made me realize the the same can also be said for those of us who have autism as well. That being said, I wish to empower and inpsire those who have autism and your families: when you are having a bad day; I ask you to look on the bright side of what live has given you. 

Even with all the challenges we go through in life, there’s also the good that we do, whatever or however that might be. Has anyone heard of the saying that to the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world? Well, that’s true for spectrumites as well. Our gifts; the talents we have are just that: ours to use; ours to change the world as we see fit. Look at Temple Grandin, she was able to use her talents to see things differently to change the way meat is processed. Another example is Jesse Saperstein, is able to use his wonderful talents not only to write an insightful novel, but maybe just as important, his voice to combat bullying in all of its heinous forms.

It also helps to know during times of great dispair, the love from your family and the community at large can do great things to lift you up. I’d be lying if I said that I did everything on my own, without the support of my friends and family.  To say that they all mean so much to me would be a gross understatement; they have been the people who’ve inspired me to go above and beyond where I was before. It’s because of them and thier love, support and friendship that makes me the person I am today.  To them, I’d like to tak this time to thank them for all the support, you all show me, both in word and action, that through it all, the good and the bad, we’re not alone in life. 

I’d be lying to say, though, that I wish that I was more successful than I am now. Yet, when some parents who have autistic children are impressed by my accomplishments, those people wishing similiar results for thier children, it makes me feel important; that success should doesn’t have to be measured by how much you make, but the impact, how much of a role model you are, makes all the difference in the world. 

Another reason to look on the bright side of autism comes from a cartoon I watched for a time, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friendss. One character fit me in the way in which she saw her world, she was one with whom I felt a connection to: Goo Goo Gaga. While it was clear that she didn’t fit what was considered, “normal” from her world’s point of view, one can also make a case that from a totally unique point of view. She, along with other characters from the show, showed that being different isn’t always a bad thing. That was the one thing that I liked about Foster’s, its unique ability to show how the world can be comforting and supporting even in the face of whatever people face. 

In summation, it’s my hope that this note inspires and empowers you to help you and your families to face the sometimes cruel world we live in. I know from experience how hard it is to deal with the bad hands we get dealt with, but through it all, though, know you’re not; nor will you ever be alone in your struggles. 

The Hot Take: Standing With Libraries and Librarians #nationalLibraryweek

This! Is! Amazing!

https://www.jeopardy.com/listen/this_is_jeopardy

As a game show fan, Dear Readers, this is an amazing new podcast about Jeopardy!, a game show institution, akin to The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune.

The new podcast, This is Jeopardy!, is essentially a deep dive into the history, the quirks, the contestants and the things that make Jeopardy! so relatable and recognizable. I feel as if it’s a fitting history lesson for super fans and casual fans alike.

Given that this is coming on the heels of Jeopardy’s 40th Anniversary (or 60th, as the case might be), this history lesson is important for us. The mention of the movie Quiz Show, a personal favorite of mine, is enough for me to feel giddy.

So, I wanted to thank those responsible for this informative podcast. To those fellow game show fans (or Jeopardy! fans, please check out this wonderful podcast and, as always….

Shine On (but don’t forget to phrase your responses in the form of a question!!)

(Repost) What’s My Ability featuring Samantha #ARCMH

(Writers Note: In honor of Administrators Day, Dear Readers, I want to make a point to recognize the efforts and talents of my wonderful friend, Samantha.

Like I wrote in the original post, I’ll let her talk for herself, but suffice it to say, she’s an amazing friend. So until next post, stay safe, stay strong, support others and, as always…

Watch on..

Usually, I don’t do this, Dear Readers, but this video is wonderful enough to share with all of you.

Allow me to proudly present a dear friend of mine, a fellow self advocate in her own right as well as a fellow Spectrumite. With that being said, instead of me kvelling about her, I’ll let her explain herself.

Brava, Samantha, thank you for your voice, your efforts to help us see the better parts of ourselves and thank you for letting us all…

Shine On!!

The Power of the Prompt: Question 9

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

Another question came up for me, Dear Readers, so I wanted to touch on it since I’m on the rebound from Autistic Burnout.

After work and going to the gym (or not), I usually go to the shower and I’ll keep to myself in my room. It’s not unusual for me to listen to music, record my poems for Poetry Packed Out, or just listen to podcasts that I enjoy. I’ve already touched on the podcasts I enjoy, the music I’ll leave for another post.

When I was dealing with burnout, these activities seemed impossible for me to really enjoy due to the fact that I was always in “safe mode.” I always felt as if I was on pins and needles, like I was always “on stage.” It’s made me realize how important it is to relax after a long day.

In all honesty, unwinding has become essential and easier to do coming out of Autistic Burnout, so it helps me to answer this prompt.

So, until next post, stay safe, stay strong and as always….

Shine On!!!

The Hot Take: May the Power Protect Us! #PowerRangers30 #SuperSentai

20 Years and Counting!!

( 20 years and counting!! I’m so proud about this accomplishment, stay strong and, as always….Shine On!!)

Hi, guys and gals!! It’s Brian, here again speaking to you all from the final frontier on the eve of an important event in my life. I’ve been at my job in an upstate Supermarket for 14 (now 21) years, while that may not seem like a great accomplishment, when I read the tragic tales of fellow Spectrumites who’ve given up on the work force or find it difficult, along with the fact that 80-85% are underemployed, it makes the celebration even more sweeter. To that end, I’ve been thinking of things that I’ve learned in keeping my job and I could boil it down to three important things:

1. Let your personality shine: For all the stigma we as Spectrumites recieve about being savants and all that, I think that it’s important to let who we are as people shine, the fact that most focus on details, take pride in our work, are loyal and punctual should be enough to ensure that our talents will excuse our faults.
2. Disclose only when neccesary: As my dear friend and fellow Spectrumite, Jesse Saperstein mentions in page 165 of his awesome second book (which I highly recommend) that disclosing is a tightrope act: “When do you disclose and whom do you want to tell?” That’s a very good question and, while the choice is ultimatly yours to make, consider this also, what can be considered a challenge to do might be the best choice for those around you. My supervisor has told me that by disclosing to her, she’s able to see the best in me both now and for her grandson in the future. Others who know me call me an inspiration for keeping my job. The point is simply this, disclosing now can help piece together ways to tackle problems that come up in the future.
3. Relax and do the job well: It’s not easy to relax while on the job, it sounds like an oxymoron, but when I statred out, I used to hyperventilate if I didn’t get everything done in the afforded time, but I needed to remind myself that stress (getting overwhelmed, for example) can kill a person if they fail to relax at least once in a while. If you can relax, then you feel like you can do the job you know how to do really well, filling you with pride in a job well done.

Again, it’s not easy to do this, but I can only hope that I’ve helped in some small way guide you to success in the future, good luck!!!

(Repost) Knowing the Path and Walking the Path…

During one of our many chats, my oldest brother remarked about a recent blog post that I made, feeling that I should take my own advice when it comes to things, and it honestly made me feel like I should really do that. The problem is that it’s been so easy for me to give advice, mostly because others ask me for it, but for me to take my own advice is something I had not thought about, mostly due to my wanting to please others.

The thing was that he was right, and he still is.

Spectrumites, from every part of the Spectrum including myself, want so much to belong, to fit in, to want to be or look “normal.” We worry about that need to fit in that we often times ask others for their advice to our problems. It makes the change to trust yourself more challenging that others. In fairness, being able to trust ourselves, to trust our gut, our feelings, can be refreshing, but it can unnerving at the same time. It feels especially so if you’re prone to think of others opinions as more important than your own, as I do.

The question for us is only how can we trust ourselves? Two articles might help us out in this regard, one from Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S and the other from Rekha Shrivastava, M.S., CH, CRC, CASAC. Margarita’s link for her article is 3 Ways to Develop Self Trust is  here: (https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways-to-develop-self-trust/) and Rekha’s article, Strategies to Build Up Self Esteem is here (https://www.cognitivehealing.com/personal-growth/strategies-to-build-up-self-esteem/)

Here’s the highlights that I read from the articles, with my insights afterwards. First are the highlights on the aforementioned articles:

1. Change your Faulty Perception about Self

In order to build your self esteem, you need to attack these negative labels and begin to focus on your strengths. Start using some affirmations, like,” I am learning to like myself”,” I am good in art work”,” I am beautiful and people like me”. In this way you attack your faulty perceptions.

Attacking negative labels is a daily challenge, but by using positive affirmations, you can feel bolstered on your best days. It’s tough, but I feel like it can be done.

 2. Keep promises to yourself.

For instance, you might make the commitment to create and sustain a boundary. You might make the commitment to take a walk or see the doctor for a checkup. You might make the commitment to go to bed earlier or go to church every week.

In my life, boundaries are very hard to maintain, especially when people ask you for advice all the time, while you’re trying to decompress and recharge from the day, but again, but promises made need to be kept, if only for yourself if anything.

2. Don’t listen to the Critic

Do not blame yourself for every thing that happens. Try to be objective and look in the situation without using your colored perception about your self, which happens to always attack you.  This way you learn to stop finding fault at every thing you do and become more complacent with yourself.

3. Speak kindly to yourself.

“Everyone has these awful voices in their heads.”

Fortunately, this is a habit you can reduce or even eliminate. For instance, the next time you make a mistake and blurt out “You’re so stupid,” catch yourself, and instead say, “That’s OK. It was just a small slipup,” or “Yes, that was a big mistake, but I’ll learn from it, and I love myself anyway.”

I combined these two into one, mostly because one feeds into the other.

These two are the big ones I know I need to work on, especially when I’m very hard on myself. I know that I’m prone to say “I’m sorry” in situations that it wasn’t needed and I know that I’m very critical on myself, to mask the person I am. I’ve always felt that, no matter what I do, that my efforts aren’t good enough.

I need to keep myself from doing that and I feel like I’m not the only one, but again, with work, we can do it. We need to be the person we want to be, not what everyone wants us to be, which leads me to the next points…

3. Let Go of the Judge Within You

When you have low self esteem, you tend to discount the facts and believe in your judge which tells you, ”you are no good”,” You always fail”, “It does not matter what you want” and so on. When the judge evaluates you like this, you tend to listen to the judge and fail to look into the facts. In new situations, try to examine the facts. Just because it happened in your childhood, does not mean that it will always happen in the future.

4. Set Realistic Goals and Do the Best

People with low self esteem tend to sometime set themselves for failure by setting idealistic goals for themselves and then beating themselves up when they fail to reach them. This damages their self esteem.
In order to feel good about yourself, you need to set realistic goals which are practical, possible, and attainable. It is also important to break your goals in short term objectives which are like baby steps created in small increments, to help you reach your long term goals.

These are another group of points that I feel need to be combined, because they feed into each other. The key in both of these points is to not be so self-critical or grandiose with our plans, instead, we need to do the best as we can with what we can, or what we have. Be happy with the progress we are making, small as it might be. We need to be happy with the plans we make, but also we need to know that our efforts matter.

5. Make friends who make you feel better

If you spend time with people who are always critical with you, undermine your capacity, and make sarcastic and demeaning remarks, you will end up feeling bad about yourself.

1. Avoid people who undermine your self-trust.

While you probably didn’t have control over having negative people in your life when you were a child, you do have control today. Think about the individuals who surround you. Do they support you? Do you really want them in your life?

6. Value Yourself as a Person

Listening to your favorite music, engaging in your favorite sports, doing art and craft, engaging in hobbies that you enjoy, going to the park, taking nature walks, taking a mental health break day, and indulging in social and recreational activities, will eventually fill the inner void that was created due to low self esteem. 

Admittingly, I am a people-pleaser, not a people-eater.

The problem on my end is that, being a people-pleaser means that I tend to value everyone’s opinion of me instead of trusting my opinion. Much like Monk said, it tends to be “a blessing and a curse” and it’s something that I need to really reconsider.

Thanks to the help of a good friend, though, I am now able to see that in me and I feel like all Spectrumites have this tendency to want to be like everyone else, to the exclusion of what I feel is really me. Those whom I consider friends are given that title because of their loyalty, their kindness and willingness to listen. Sometimes having that support helps, especially in the darkest times in my life and I do value and respect those people whom I consider friends. It’s just me needing to remind myself that I matter, and I feel like Spectrumites might feel the same way. 

So, let’s be the people we want to be and trust our own feelings and opinions, it’s something that we need to do, more for ourselves than anyone else. The reason to do this (and start today) is mostly because it’s our life that we’re living, not someone else’s. It’s quite all right to ask for advice, but in the final play of the game, we’re the ones who will (and must) live with the decisions we make. There will be decisions that will be tough, even difficult, to make, but they must be done.

That’s not to say that it’ll be easy to do so at first, but trust me that I believe that you can do it!!! So, my advice for you, my readers, is to Trust in God for His plan for you, whatever that might be, but also trust your own instincts, trust what you feel and, as always…

Shine On!!!!

Be A Hero! Walk for Autism (featuring the wonderful people of The ASCHR)

Hero 5K Run for Autism

Celebrate the finale of Autism Acceptance Month! Register today – then mark your calendar, tell your friends and family, and dust off your superhero or anti-hero costume!

Costumes aren’t mandatory, but just remember that you’re a hero for improving the lives of autistic individuals and families all over the Greater Hudson Region.

All proceeds will benefit Autism Society Greater Hudson Region, a 501(c)(3) organization which provides programs as well as referrals to partner organizations to fulfill the needs of individuals and families in 21 New York counties: Albany, Chenango, Columbia, Delaware, Dutchess, Fulton, Greene, Montgomery, Orange, Otsego, Putnam, Rensselaer, Rockland, Saratoga, Schenectady, Schoharie, Sullivan, Ulster, Warren, Washington and Westchester.

Please consider supporting those organizations that listen to Autistic people and help us all…

Shine (or Quack) On!!