(Repost) One life too precious not to give or receive…

Ok, here goes, time for me to make a confession..

I’ve recently discovered more about myself, most notably is the fact that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, that is to say, that I’m very emotional and have a hard time showing a poker face when my feelings are hurt. I’m trying to work on that, but changing who I am is a lot easier said than done, moreso for Spectrumites who are learning about themselves and the world in which we all share. My local parish priest punctuated that during his homily two weeks ago: “God always forgives, humans sometimes forgive, but nature never forgives.” I felt them to be very wise words; they struck a chord with me, as I often do things wrong sometimes without me knowing about it.

Believe me, I’ve been there many times before, all depending on the event, the crowd as well as my mood at the time. One of these happened at the ARC of Ulster Greene’s Humanitarian Dinner last year where I was one of the people honored. It was very humbling  and heartwarming for me to have people congratulate me on my hard work and look at me as a role model for them and others.

On the other hand, there are times where it feels like I’m the center of attention, even when I don’t really mean to be. There was a social event where it seemed where I was a celebrity and when I arrived, all the people swarmed in around me. Even though I was a regular person at the social event, the fact that I could drive myself, that I had a college degree and an outside job made me a hero in their eyes, which at times can get to be too   overwhelming, over stimulating and pressuring for me to handle. Even with staff present, it felt that it wasn’t enough for me, like I was the leader and I felt like being asked to multitask when you’re used to talking to people one-on-one.

Recently, I’ve felt a need to attempt to forgive those who have wronged me not because I need to, but rather because I want to; in order to be the better person if I’ve been wrong. I’ve been told by a friend and co-worker that I’m the strongest person he knows; it’s only now that I’m beginning to see how right he is, how strong I can be, even in times when I wish to be stronger still. The only thing I can do is to breathe and ask people I’ve wronged to forgive me, I was naïve, stupid and confident to the point of arrogance in my youth, but I’ve grown a lot since then, especially in the last 5 years.

So, if I’ve ever hurt you, intentionally or not, I hope you see that I was wrong, that maybe we were both arrogant and stupid as much as the other was. So I give you all a gift, one that you can both give and receive all in your own way, the gift to be able to forgive yourselves and each other, because without kindness, understanding and yes forgiveness, we might not see the better world we want for ourselves and society as a whole. I can only hope that you accept it, so we can all find a way to….

Shine On!!!

(Repost) The Brighter Side of The Spectrum

(Writer’s Note: This was written, Dear Readers, before the advent of The Autistic SuperBlog, but I feel that this note is just as true when I wrote it to the current date. With Autism Acceptance Month winding down, I just ask you all to look at the bright side of the Spectrum and grow your respective talents so that we can all..

Shine On!!!)

-written with thanks to Eric Dominick Rutlante for the inspiration for this note-

Recently, I was reading an article from a friend who has Lyme Disease that reminded me that, even though life comes with its challenges; its hardships, it’s also true to say that it’s also a blessing. It was a moving article, one that made me realize the the same can also be said for those of us who have autism as well. That being said, I wish to empower and inpsire those who have autism and your families: when you are having a bad day; I ask you to look on the bright side of what live has given you. 

Even with all the challenges we go through in life, there’s also the good that we do, whatever or however that might be. Has anyone heard of the saying that to the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world? Well, that’s true for spectrumites as well. Our gifts; the talents we have are just that: ours to use; ours to change the world as we see fit. Look at Temple Grandin, she was able to use her talents to see things differently to change the way meat is processed. Another example is Jesse Saperstein, is able to use his wonderful talents not only to write an insightful novel, but maybe just as important, his voice to combat bullying in all of its heinous forms.

It also helps to know during times of great dispair, the love from your family and the community at large can do great things to lift you up. I’d be lying if I said that I did everything on my own, without the support of my friends and family.  To say that they all mean so much to me would be a gross understatement; they have been the people who’ve inspired me to go above and beyond where I was before. It’s because of them and thier love, support and friendship that makes me the person I am today.  To them, I’d like to tak this time to thank them for all the support, you all show me, both in word and action, that through it all, the good and the bad, we’re not alone in life. 

I’d be lying to say, though, that I wish that I was more successful than I am now. Yet, when some parents who have autistic children are impressed by my accomplishments, those people wishing similiar results for thier children, it makes me feel important; that success should doesn’t have to be measured by how much you make, but the impact, how much of a role model you are, makes all the difference in the world. 

Another reason to look on the bright side of autism comes from a cartoon I watched for a time, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friendss. One character fit me in the way in which she saw her world, she was one with whom I felt a connection to: Goo Goo Gaga. While it was clear that she didn’t fit what was considered, “normal” from her world’s point of view, one can also make a case that from a totally unique point of view. She, along with other characters from the show, showed that being different isn’t always a bad thing. That was the one thing that I liked about Foster’s, its unique ability to show how the world can be comforting and supporting even in the face of whatever people face. 

In summation, it’s my hope that this note inspires and empowers you to help you and your families to face the sometimes cruel world we live in. I know from experience how hard it is to deal with the bad hands we get dealt with, but through it all, though, know you’re not; nor will you ever be alone in your struggles. 

This is Why I Post!!

This picture has been circulating throughout social media and it really speaks to me.

It shows how tough it can be growing up without support, without trusted friends and family, how easy it can be to be misunderstood.

That, Dear Readers, is why I post things about my life, why I’m open about my autism. I want The Autistic SuperBlog to be supportive, to be informative and an uplifting source of info for fellow Spectrumites!!

Until next post, Dear Readers, please be supportive of others, stay safe, stay strong and, as always….

Shine On!!

(Repost) Don’t Be Afraid!!

Let’s be honest, dear readers, ever since this Coronavirus chaos has permeated our lives, in news, online or on the radio, it’s been hard for us to be peaceful, to be calm in the face of chaos.

It’s been hard to know that our lives have been tossed like salad, to know that life won’t return to normalcy for a while. It feels like things will only get worse before it gets better.

But, life will get better. One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, life will get better. It may not seem so now and it may sound cliche, but I really do feel like things will get better.

Sure, we should live in caution, we should err on the side of caution and we should be safe, but we shouldn’t live in fear. We shouldn’t live in fear or dread of anyone or anything.

You hear that, Coronavirus? We are prepared to fight and we won’t be afraid!

That last statement is not and should not be seen as political, but it’s meant to boost your morale, dear readers.

We shouldn’t live in fear, we should know that hope is just around the corner, that a new day (baby!, thank you Kofi Kingston) is coming as long as we don’t lose hope and have compassion for those who’ve lost people due to this Coronavirus.

Hearing it is one thing, but believing it is another, trust me, but know that we can survive, we must survive, if for not other reason to inspire others to feel hope she, as always…..

Shine On!!!

Aboard the CSS Family!!

Dear Readers, there are so many titles that I’m honored to share in my life. Autistic advocate, poet, artist, leader, a member of the SUNY Ulster Library family among so many others.

There’s one I haven’t mentioned, though and it’s the one that matters the most to me: local celebrity. My Mom always calls me “The Celebrity” because so many people know me.

I am by my nature, a very low key person, but when others recognize me, I can’t help but be myself. It’s always great to be acknowledged in the community, but it’s also nice to know that you can be yourself.

This was the case last night with the wonderful people of The Center for Spectrum Services, who honored a great friend and co-founder, Susan Buckler, as she retired from her role.

I feel as if I don’t need to stress this any more, but suffice it to say that I wouldn’t be the Spectrumite I am without The Center for Spectrum Services. I owe so much to both Jamey and Susan as well as the wonderful staff that work (or used to work) there.

So, Dear Readers, I ask you all to support The Center for Spectrum Services’ Founders Fund, to the best of your abilities. They do a wonderful job to all of us Spectrumites!!

Donate to Our Founders Fund!

Until next post, Dear Readers, stay safe, stay strong and, as always…..

Shine On!!

The Power of The Prompt: Question 49

What makes you nervous?

As an Autistic individual, Dear Readers, I can say this without shame, there’s a lot that can make me nervous.

Disappointing others makes me nervous.

Going off my internal script can make me nervous at times, because I never plan for it.

Not learning hard concepts makes me nervous.

Animals can make me nervous for some reason.

New experiences can make me nervous.

Crosstalk, or people and noises blending over each other, can make me nervous.

Styrofoam really makes me nervous, it’s a touch thing.

This may be due to the fact that I have anxiety. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I always want things that I do to be perfect.

It puts a lot of pressure on me, to be honest, which also causes me to be nervous.

So, I guess that’s what makes me nervous, Dear Readers, I hope that I can move past these things and be less anxious over time.

Until next post, Dear Readers, stay safe, stay strong and, as always….

Shine On!!

(Repost) An Impromptu Post, A Hopeful Post

I guess I don’t have to tell you what prompted this post, since it’s been in the news since it was explained what it is from various new sources. The new enemy that’s plaguing us is, of course the Coronavirus, otherwise known am by its designation: COVID-19, which has already gotten to the point of being a pandemic as of this writing.

According to the Mayo Clinic (whose link for it is here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/symptoms-causes/syc-20479963) here are the signs one needs to watch out for:

Cough
Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing

The severity of COVID-19 symptoms can range from very mild to severe. People who are older or have existing medical conditions, such as heart disease, may be at higher risk of serious illness. This is similar to what is seen with other respiratory illnesses, such as influenza.

 And as far as cures, well, here’s another thing to consider:

Although there is no vaccine available to prevent infection with the new coronavirus, you can take steps to reduce your risk of infection. WHO and CDC recommend following the standard precautions for avoiding respiratory viruses:

Wash your hands often with soap and water, or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
Cover your mouth and nose with your elbow or tissue when you cough or sneeze.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth if your hands aren’t clean.
Avoid close contact with anyone who is sick.
Avoid sharing dishes, glasses, bedding and other household items if you’re sick.
Clean and disinfect surfaces you often touch.
Stay home from work, school and public areas if you’re sick.

CDC doesn’t recommend that healthy people wear a facemask to protect themselves from respiratory illnesses, including COVID-19. Only wear a mask if a health care provider tells you to do so.
WHO also recommends that you:

Avoid eating raw or undercooked meat or animal organs.
Avoid contact with live animals and surfaces they may have touched if you’re visiting live markets in areas that have recently had new coronavirus cases.

Now that I’ve gotten the Coronavirus information out of the way and it’s clear to us all that this wild card is a game changer if there ever was one.

But that’s not to say that we’re immune from these attacks, it’s also not to say that we shouldn’t take it seriously (which we really should, in this case.)

But, in my eyes, there’s a difference between concern and fear, and we should never let fear take over our lives. Ever.

Think of safety, of course, but also think of hope, think positive about this turn of events, think that things can get better, that things will get better even with time. Think of what can go right over what can go wrong. Only then can we do what we can for ourselves but help others do what they can to…

Shine On!!!

Letters For Lent 2024: From Bitterness to Sweetness -in Memory of the late Joseph Defino Sr-

(Repost) Pride: it’s not just for Lions

At a recent Woodstock Book Fest panel about autism, with a great friend of mine (co-founder of a fantastic school, The Center for Spectrum Services) Jamey Wolff as moderator, a question was mentioned to John Elder Robison, the author of Look me in the Eye, about what an autistic leader should have to inspire others.

It honestly gave me a reason to pause and reflect on my life, I know that I’ve often brushed aside the idea of myself being a leader, but the question of being qualified to be one seems to be one that I’ve been answering a lot these past couple of days.

The leaders I’ve been fascinated by always seem to be strong, self assured but aren’t afraid to be firm. The problem with that and Spectrumites I know, myself very much included, need help with self-worth, which includes self esteem and self-confidence.

We always think of others’ needs when we should think of our own needs, wants and desires. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be something we need to work on over time. John Elder Robinson’s answer to the question about Autistic leaders ring true, not only for Spectrumites, but for us all: Don’t look for leaders, be one yourself.

My local parish priest always says that a good leader should lead by example and it’s always been something that stuck with me. I’ve always brushed aside the notion of my being a leader because I’ve seen what power does to those ill-equipped for it: it ends up corrupting them. Napoleon from the Orson Wells satirical tale Animal Farm is one such example of how too much power can be a bad thing and because of that, I’ve always been modest when it comes to power or pride, in that sense.

But, here’s the point I bring up to my fellow Spectrumites, we should be proud in our accomplishments, no matter how large or small, we’ve come a very long way, not just personally as individuals but as a society. It wasn’t so long ago where Spectrumites like us would be put in institutions, where our talents would be lost at worse or go unknown at best. Hearing of the horror stories of people who were institutionalized make me winch, inwardly if not outwardly, but it shows me how lucky I am to be in a caring and thoughtful community.

That’s not to say, however, that we can’t do better. We should be volunteering and helping those less fortunate, we should be speaking up about issues that matter, standing up for the communities we live in, and most importantly, we should be leading by our examples and inspiring people that way. That way we can all do our part to help heal our wounds and help us all….

Shine On!!!

Speaking from The Spectrum!!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLfsTFgV

This past March, Dear Readers, as you all know, I was invited to the Soirée for Autism for the Autism Society of The Greater Hudson Region thanks to a wonderful friend, Janine.

The post, which you can read here: )https://theautisticsuperblog.wordpress.com/2024/04/16/memories-of-a-sweet-soiree/ )was a wonderful event, but also had people like myself and my best friend Jas speak on autism acceptance.

Not awareness, not needing to just because, but acceptance. Accepting a Spectrumite’s strengths and flaws, their quirks and the things that make them the great people they are.

Things like accepting yourself, knowing that your struggles matter is truly a game changer.

It sends a message to all Spectrumites, that times are changing, that people are learning about us.

The above video means a lot to us all, especially with Autism Acceptance Month. It helps us all stay strong, stay safe and, as always….

Shine On!!