(Repost) Being Quirky Can’t Be all bad…

Let me be clear on this point: You should be allowed to be free to be yourself, without any excuses. I know that I mentioned that I’d talk about quirks in an earlier post, mostly when I mentioned how much I saw myself in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’s Starlight Glimmer, Maud and Mudbriar and this is that post…

The thing is, for me, I think in pictures, like Dr. Temple Grandin and a lot of fellow Spectrumites. When I’m driving, if I’m given street names and route markers, I don’t know how I translate that to me unless I get visual markers, landmarks and the like.

Another thing that I do constantly, one thing that people that really know me, which include you, my readers, is that I use game show analogies or lingo in my speech because I’m a huge game show fan (since it’s something I love so much) to get my point across, much like Maud and Mudbriar’s expertise on rocks and stocks, respectively.

Some examples of this is that I’ll say “it’s in that range” or words to that effect if I’m trying to explain how much something is, or on the road if I’m trying to explain where a place is, or “and circle (or X) gets the square” to say that someone’s right, or I’ll tell someone to “earn it yourself” when it comes to doing something that person needs to earn; “Daily Double” for things I think will work, or other things of that nature. I know it sounds silly, but it works for me, getting my point across in a way that both suit me and make my feelings known.

Another example of this influence comes in the games I use for The ARC Mid Hudson’s Literacy Program, I give it a test run (usually on my older brother) just to see if there are any kinks I need to work on. I’m like the late Mark Goodson on that front, I like to make sure things are perfect before showing it to those I work with. All during the test run, I’ll ask my older brother if he gets it, if he understood what I’m trying to do and he says that he does.

However, what would happen if that wasn’t the case? What if I needed to translate it myself?

I’ll admit that can feel awkward to act as translator for my own lingo, mostly because I don’t want anything to get lost in translation, I’ve seen what one misunderstanding can do to one person’s life and it’s not pretty, to say the very least. That time will come, sooner or later, and that awkwardness will be overwhelming at first (and it’s for that reason that I find disclosing helpful, especially at my job) but doing so now maybe a good thing, if for no other reason, it gives a chance for our talents; our strengths and quirks shine through, even in times where our quirks may get in the way.

That being said, don’t be ashamed of the person you are even with what people might consider strange; peculiar and weird. Know that you are enough and you are loved and respected by your friends and family. With compassion, experience and respect, you can be the most authentic you that can be, letting yourself truly….

Shine On!!

 

(Repost) Autistic and Proud!!

The late comic Robin Williams told his students in Dead Poets Society that “words and ideas can change the world” if only they were true to themselves, to the people they are, with their strengths, flaws and dreams. It couldn’t be any truer than the recent news that Greta Thunberg, a 16 year old Swedish climate advocate, is TIME’s Person of the Year. 

It also helps and empowers me (and I feel all Spectrumites) that Greta is a fellow Spectrumite, so this is a big deal for our tribe. I know that I’ve always tried to change the world in my daily life in some small way, but I don’t think I could’ve ever thought of doing the Super-blog without the support and encouragement of my friends and family, so for that, I wish to thank you all for all you’ve done for me.

That said, I know that other Spectrumites aren’t so lucky, so I ask all of my readers to consider the low self esteem that we might have from rejection, being left out, feeling that we don’t belong, that what we do isn’t right, that we need to conform to other’s ideals. It’s a rotten feeling, honestly, to know that you aren’t good enough as you are, making addictions to “inspiration porn” a high that we feel that we need. Now, imagine the kind of support one needs to have to become Person of the Year, it needs to defy those odds, and it does in Greta’s case, as the article from TIME itself (the link is here: https://time.com/person-of-the-year-2019-greta-thunberg-choice/) states that:

Thunberg stands on the shoulders—and at the side—of hundreds of thousands of others who’ve been blockading the streets and settling the science, many of them since before she was born.

The support for her and her cause grows with the following statement:

Over the course of little more than a year, a 16-year-old from Stockholm went from a solitary protest on the cobblestones outside her country’s Parliament to leading a worldwide youth movement; from a schoolkid conjugating verbs in French class to meeting with the Secretary-General of the United Nations and receiving audiences with Presidents and the Pope; from a solo demonstrator with a hand-painted slogan (Skolstrejk för Klimatet) to inspiring millions of people across more than 150 countries to take to the streets on behalf of the planet we share.

Of course, I’ve also heard the detractors, those even in the Spectrumite Tribe, telling me how much they wished their lives were different, as Ian Burrell’s opinion article “Greta Thunberg teaches us about autism as much as climate change”, (the link is here: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/23/greta-thunberg-autism) explains their fears as such:

For we live in a society that, far from respecting difference, often seems to fear or ignore those that stand apart from the crowd. Look at how people with autism and learning disabilities are routinely abused, bullied, excluded from school, swept aside in the jobs market and shunted into the worst housing in the toughest parts of town.

What “Cure-bies” (those wanting a cure) don’t realize that whom they are is actually a good wonderful thing, it means that we see the world differently and that can do wonders for our world. Later, Burrell points out that Greta says as much in an interview in the same article, saying that:

“Being different is a gift,”  “It makes me see things from outside the box. I don’t easily fall for lies, I can see through things. If I would’ve been like everyone else, I wouldn’t have started this school strike for instance.”

In her article, How Greta Thunberg’s autism helped her become Time’s Person of the Year, (the link is here: https://thehill.com/changing-america/well-being/468091-opinion-activist-greta-thunbergs-autism-doesnt-hold-her-back) Sam Farmer, a fellow Spectrumite, shows how autism can be thought as a good thing to have because, as he states:

Like Greta, I, too, am an Aspie who often hyperfocuses, obsessively, on what matters most to me, and with solid results. I could not have become proficient at the piano had I not locked myself in practice rooms for hours at a time over many years while studying at music camps and schools. I could have given up early on my almost lifelong struggle at building self-esteem.

Later on in the article, he explains further the brighter light on the Spectrum:

Greta’s successes, when considered within the context of her Asperger’s profile, shed light on the importance of accepting neurodiversity as a significant and meaningful aspect of our social fabric. We acknowledge diversity with respect to race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, skin color and political affiliation, among others.

You see, there are just as many bad things about autism as there are good things, quirks that should be celebrated, not shunned. Things that we see that should be explained, not shut off. Opinions that we have are ones that should be respected, but never silenced. So, we should celebrate our victories as much as discuss our problems with others who get us. The choice is ours to make, but I want to encourage you, dear reader, to celebrate your gifts, what makes you different and find your tribe; your family. Only then can you finally belong and, as you evolve, finally….

 

Shine On!!! Congrats, Greta!!!!

(Repost) Don’t Walk with Me, but Get to Know Me Again!!

After a lot of thought on this, I’ve decided to let you all into my head (not literally, of course) and let you know a little bit more about me, especially on my Birthday month.

The problem for me was: How can I let you all in without it seeming pretentious or fake, so I took a page out of the Bravo television show, Inside the Actor’s Studio. It’s especially fitting since the annual Saugerties Artists’ Studio Tour is this weekend, so I figured that I’d do the same here.

To give you all, my dear readers, an idea of how this will work, I’ll use the questions that host James Lipton uses for Inside, which was itself created from the Proust  Questionnaire, which the French writer Marcel Proust used to probe into one’s personality. I hope that, in doing so, I’ll give you all a chance to get to know me, again without literally getting inside my head.

Just a bit of humor to get us started, so without further ado,

Q: What is your favorite word?

A: Adventure, specifically the Japanese equivalent, Bouken. Simply because I like to explore new places, new things, new forms of music and poetry. I like to branch out of my comfort zone, as much as I feel is necessary for me.

Q: What is your least favorite word?

A: Politics, mostly because of what it entails. Not to say that it’s a necessary evil, but at worst, I think of kids throwing mud at each other. While all that’s happening, nothing gets really done.

Q: What turns you on?

A: Tasty food, a great personality and someone who understands me for whom I am, with all my flaws and my strengths.

Q: What turns you off?

A: Bossy people, those who feel like their voices, their opinions, are the matter the most. Those who feel that ignore others who feel differently without doing their research.

Q: What sound or noise do you love?

A: The sythesier that’s present in the Billy Joel song, All for Leyna, along with the calliope sound I’m Only the Good Die Young, but if we’re looking long term, then Press Your Luck‘s sound effect when a spin is in session (this link will let you hear the melody: https://youtu.be/9kfBdZtqN24.

Q: What sound or noise do you hate?

A: Anything shrill, like babies crying loudly, fire alarms, or anything random, mostly because there’s no time for me to prepare myself since I never know when it’s coming.

A perfect example is when I hear a fire truck, if I know it’s coming, I can plug my ears to drown the sound.

Q: What is your favorite curse word?

A: Honestly, I’ve heard so many (as a Bartenders son) that it’s hard to find a favorite one. I usually don’t curse, as a rule, because I’ve been taught to watch what I say. But, if I have to, I’ll say that fuck is a favorite curse word, because I’ve heard it so often.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

A world traveler, mostly so I can bring the flavor of what I see, what I learn to those people at home, or those who don’t have the means to do so.

Q: What profession would you not like to do?

A: A sewer worker or a garbage worker, mostly because my sense of smell is so strong that it would affect my ability to do my job effectively.

Q: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

A:Greetings, Brian, I know you’ve suffered enough, but I want you to know that it was worth it, you ran your race well, now you get rewarded for your journey. Your friends and family have been waiting for you.

 

Well, there you have it, I hope that helps you get into my head, give you an insight into the person I am; I hope that this helps you all see that the person I am here is whom I am in real life, if you have any questions other than these to ask me, please don’t hesitate to message me on the Super-blog.

Hopefully, it will help open up communication, not only here but in real life, where we can all….

Shine On!!

21 Years and Counting!!

( 21 years and counting!! I’m so proud about this accomplishment, stay strong and, as always….Shine On!!)

Hi, guys and gals!! It’s Brian, here again speaking to you all from the final frontier on the eve of an important event in my life. I’ve been at my job in an upstate Supermarket for 14 (now 21) years, while that may not seem like a great accomplishment, when I read the tragic tales of fellow Spectrumites who’ve given up on the work force or find it difficult, along with the fact that 80-85% are underemployed, it makes the celebration even more sweeter. To that end, I’ve been thinking of things that I’ve learned in keeping my job and I could boil it down to three important things:

1. Let your personality shine: For all the stigma we as Spectrumites recieve about being savants and all that, I think that it’s important to let who we are as people shine, the fact that most focus on details, take pride in our work, are loyal and punctual should be enough to ensure that our talents will excuse our faults.
2. Disclose only when neccesary: As my dear friend and fellow Spectrumite, Jesse Saperstein mentions in page 165 of his awesome second book (which I highly recommend) that disclosing is a tightrope act: “When do you disclose and whom do you want to tell?” That’s a very good question and, while the choice is ultimatly yours to make, consider this also, what can be considered a challenge to do might be the best choice for those around you. My supervisor has told me that by disclosing to her, she’s able to see the best in me both now and for her grandson in the future. Others who know me call me an inspiration for keeping my job. The point is simply this, disclosing now can help piece together ways to tackle problems that come up in the future.
3. Relax and do the job well: It’s not easy to relax while on the job, it sounds like an oxymoron, but when I statred out, I used to hyperventilate if I didn’t get everything done in the afforded time, but I needed to remind myself that stress (getting overwhelmed, for example) can kill a person if they fail to relax at least once in a while. If you can relax, then you feel like you can do the job you know how to do really well, filling you with pride in a job well done.

Again, it’s not easy to do this, but I can only hope that I’ve helped in some small way guide you to success in the future, good luck!!!

Memories of a Sweet Soiree

https://www.timesunion.com/seen/article/seen-greater-hudson-region-s-22nd-annual-18805360.php

This past March, Dear Readers, I was invited to a wonderful event which I promoted here on The Autistic SuperBlog : The Soirée for Autism.

A bit of backstory is needed to explain why I was at the event. As you all know, Dear Readers, I have been dealing with Autistic Burnout and I’m slowly but surely getting through it.

I needed to make changes in my life, practicing self advocacy, self care and cutting my hours at my job. This was possible due to the support of my friends, including Janine Krusjik, the Executive Director of the Autism Society of the Greater Hudson Region.

At least that’s true as of the time I’m writing this post, as she’s stepping down from that role.

I’d like to say that Janine is a wonderful person whom sees the best in everyone, myself included. She always has this ability to make anyone feel better about themselves. Simply put, I’m very proud to call her my friend.

That, of course, brings me to the Soirée last Friday, she invited myself and my dear friend, Jas, whom is a big Billy Joel fan like myself, to the event. I’m very happy that I went since there was a big turnout and the spotlight was on the guests, but also on the talents involved, piano players and fellow Spectrumites like myself.

I’ve been on an Autism Society Board before and it wasn’t always a pleasant experience, but this event was a joy. I could feel that I wasn’t being left out of anything. Being involved in this event, I can say that that will always be the case.

Until next post, Dear Readers, please stay safe, stay strong and, as always….

Shine On!!!

Links for April (Another Repost)

It’s that month again!!

April, a great month is National Autism Acceptance Month, which are important to me (for obvious reasons, as readers can more than attest to.) For all the blues I feel on February (the 14th was in the past a ” very blue” day for me, for obvious reasons) it all comes to an end when April 1st hits. I suddenly feel a surge of energy, boosting me like a car battery getting a charge for the first time in a long time.

So, suffice it to say, April is a month that means a lot to me, so much so that I feel inclined to share some links that I feel are important for those wanting to know more about autism, if for no other reason that to give others who are new to poetry and/or autism hope, support and community to help them thrive. To that end, I’ll give you all the links with a brief description of each:

The Autism Society of America: http://www.autism-society.org: One of the best places to go for autism research, especially as it comes to support for newcomers and newly diagnosed. A long standing beacon of advocacy for over 50 years, ASA stands among the best of the best, coming from a former Board Member of my local Chapter.

4340 East-West Hwy, Suite 350 Bethesda, Maryland 20814

Global and Regional Autism Syndrome Partnership: https://grasp.org: If you’re a Spectrumite that’s looking for a diagnosis, looking for support groups or need to work on new things, then GRASP is for you. Talking from personal experience (as I do with all the links I’m sharing), GRASP looks to empower Spectrumites so that they feel like you’re never alone. Wise words from an organization where I’m part of their Advisory Board.

369 Lexington Ave, 2nd floor, New York, NY 10017

Center for Spectrum Services: http://centerforspectrumservices.org: When it comes to the Hudson Valley, The Center for Spectrum Services, my old school, is a place where young Spectrumites can feel like being themselves, thanks to 40 plus years of experience, a warm and inviting staff and wonderful two co-founders, Jamey Wolff and Susan Buckler, whose vision and determination has grown CSS into what it is today.

Kingston:
70 Kukuk Lane 
Kingston, NY  12401

845-336-2616

Ellenville: 
4 Yankee Place 
Ellenville, NY  12428 

845-647-6464

Specialisterne: http://specialisterne.com: This company that is based out of Denmark, specializes on giving Spectrumites a chance (and the skills) to work primarily on computer programs, are least from what I know.

As they say from their own website:

 Specialisterne, which translates from Danish as “The Specialists”, is a socially innovative company where the majority of employees have a diagnosis on the autism spectrum. Employees work as business consultants on tasks such as software testing, programming and data entry for the public and private sectors.

We harness the special characteristics and talents of people with autism and use them as a competitive advantage, and as a means to help people with autism secure meaningful employment. Specialisterne has operations in numerous locations around the world.

They also work with Spectrumites from around the world, but for their USA branch, their website is: https://specialisterneusa.com/about/ which explains whom they are, the Director of the US Branch is also my cousin, just for full disclosure.

Autistic Self Advocacy Network: https://autisticadvocacy.org. This penultimate link is primarily for self advocacy for Spectrumites, this gives you a voice to what sometimes slips through the cracks as far as news for Spectrumites, by Spectrumites. I definitely recommend this source for help in self advocacy, especially for newly diagnosed Spectrumites.

Autistic Self Advocacy Network
PO Box 66122
Washington, DC 20035

The ARC: I both live in my current place and also volunteer at my local ARC, which helps people with disabilities have more meaningful and productive lives. The people involved are also working on self advocacy as well as helping people with disabilities learn skills for working in and living in their respective communities.

 1825 K Street, NW, Suite 1200, Washington, DC 20006

So, there you have it, organizations that are considered the best for people on the Spectrum, I ask you all to please help support these organizations so that I, and people like me, can have a chance to change the world for the better. I ask you all on this World Autism Awareness (Acceptance) Day to accept us for whom we are do that we can all..

Shine On!!

(Repost) The Problem with Going off Script

Have you ever been caught off guard with something you never expected, having you go off script and being impromptu, especially in social situations? Forgive me for sounding like Tom Papa from Live from Here, but I have.

Most people know how to go to their social playbook, doing so as if it’s natural. I’ve been known to do so myself, even as the panic in my face and in my eyes may tell a different story.

It’s the panic that can be overcome with both practicing and polishing, but that’s not to say that the feeling of being overwhelmed and unprepared can make even the best speakers flinch under pressure. To maintain composure in those situations can be done, but understand that it takes a lot of practice to do so.

The unwritten social rules that Neurotypicals take for granted should be made known to us in both a meaningful and constructive manner, but there should also be a “grey matter” where we all given a chance to break down and understand our own story. I’ve taken the liberty of sharing some of the rules a fellow blogger feels are important to her, Autistic Hoya and posting the link to her article here (https://www.autistichoya.com/2012/10/important-social-rules-for-both-autistics-and-nonautistics.html?m=1) but here are some I feel are important to me from her list:

1. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

2. Don’t ask other people to do things for you if you’d be unwilling to do comparable things for them.

3. Don’t insult people to their faces unless they’re being bigots. Otherwise, save the insults for private conversations with trusted friends, a counselor, a confessor, or an anonymous website where you omit both their and your names or other identifying information.

4. Thank people when they do something for you.

5. Only ask people questions if you either really care about the answer or you need them to think you do.

6. Don’t ask strangers about their health, religion, politics, gender identity or pronouns, sexual orientation, weight, income, or disability status unless you’re in a safe space or themed event/conference (i.e. a queer pride group, an autism conference, or a religious gathering, for example).

7. Don’t invite yourself to parties or outings. If you find out about a private party or outing that you weren’t invited to, don’t mention it around the people who are invited.

8. Thank people in advance when you expect them to do something for you.

9. Always ask if you need anything from anyone.

10. Default to speaking or acting more respectfully or formally when in doubt about how formal you should be around a particular person or in a particular situation or place.

11. No means no.

These rules, among others, are reason enough in my eyes to make communication a resonable, accessible two way street to understanding and compassion, only then can we be shown respect as we Spectrumites give to others, fellow Spectrumites or not. Only then can misunderstandings be undone and we all can communicate and…

 

Shine On!!!!

The Hot Take: It’s All Okay to be Not Okay

Poetry Packed Out: Twist Towards Faith

Dear Readers, I don’t know if I mentioned it in the last edition of The Hot Take, but I wanted to say that, while I understand the disappointment that people can feel when the Olympics are in full swing and the pressure is mounting, I also can resonate with the athletes themselves.

Why, you may ask? Well, because locally speaking, I’m a celebrity in my own right. I can understand the pressure, the expectations and the anxiety that can cone from the Olympics.

People call me an important person, someone with new ideas, someone with a great viewpoint, in a word, people call me a leader. That pressure, when put on my shoulders, can seem as if the world depends on me. It can feel empowering, but it can be overwhelming at the same time.

Sometimes, I need a break to recharge my own batteries. Sometimes, it comes, but other times, I need to take an impromptu vacation to decompress.

So, you can see why, Dear Readers, I can sympathize with those athletes who are choosing tier mental health over an Olympic Medal.

Simply put, there are things greater than glory. Somethings matter more than personal gain. There will be other Olympics, no doubt about that, but what of the athletes if their health isn’t taken into account. It could lead to burnout, or other things, if left unchecked and they matters in the long run.

It’s in that vein that I wrote this impromptu cinquain, since I’ve been dealing with similar things, mostly a bad case of writers block. It’s coming back, slowly but surely, but I’m working on new poems soon. I know I’ll be all right, since to help my health, I’ve been taking breaks and relying on my faith.

Sometimes, that’s all you need.

No doubt, I have my family and friends to thank for that realization. I want to thank them for simply being them in my dark times and understanding me.

So, please be kind to each other, stay strong together and, as always…

Shine On!!!

The Hot Take: Taking a (Mental) Break