(Repost) Being Quirky Can’t Be all bad…

Let me be clear on this point: You should be allowed to be free to be yourself, without any excuses. I know that I mentioned that I’d talk about quirks in an earlier post, mostly when I mentioned how much I saw myself in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’s Starlight Glimmer, Maud and Mudbriar and this is that post…

The thing is, for me, I think in pictures, like Dr. Temple Grandin and a lot of fellow Spectrumites. When I’m driving, if I’m given street names and route markers, I don’t know how I translate that to me unless I get visual markers, landmarks and the like.

Another thing that I do constantly, one thing that people that really know me, which include you, my readers, is that I use game show analogies or lingo in my speech because I’m a huge game show fan (since it’s something I love so much) to get my point across, much like Maud and Mudbriar’s expertise on rocks and stocks, respectively.

Some examples of this is that I’ll say “it’s in that range” or words to that effect if I’m trying to explain how much something is, or on the road if I’m trying to explain where a place is, or “and circle (or X) gets the square” to say that someone’s right, or I’ll tell someone to “earn it yourself” when it comes to doing something that person needs to earn; “Daily Double” for things I think will work, or other things of that nature. I know it sounds silly, but it works for me, getting my point across in a way that both suit me and make my feelings known.

Another example of this influence comes in the games I use for The ARC Mid Hudson’s Literacy Program, I give it a test run (usually on my older brother) just to see if there are any kinks I need to work on. I’m like the late Mark Goodson on that front, I like to make sure things are perfect before showing it to those I work with. All during the test run, I’ll ask my older brother if he gets it, if he understood what I’m trying to do and he says that he does.

However, what would happen if that wasn’t the case? What if I needed to translate it myself?

I’ll admit that can feel awkward to act as translator for my own lingo, mostly because I don’t want anything to get lost in translation, I’ve seen what one misunderstanding can do to one person’s life and it’s not pretty, to say the very least. That time will come, sooner or later, and that awkwardness will be overwhelming at first (and it’s for that reason that I find disclosing helpful, especially at my job) but doing so now maybe a good thing, if for no other reason, it gives a chance for our talents; our strengths and quirks shine through, even in times where our quirks may get in the way.

That being said, don’t be ashamed of the person you are even with what people might consider strange; peculiar and weird. Know that you are enough and you are loved and respected by your friends and family. With compassion, experience and respect, you can be the most authentic you that can be, letting yourself truly….

Shine On!!

 

(Repost) Don’t Walk with Me, but Get to Know Me Again!!

After a lot of thought on this, I’ve decided to let you all into my head (not literally, of course) and let you know a little bit more about me, especially on my Birthday month.

The problem for me was: How can I let you all in without it seeming pretentious or fake, so I took a page out of the Bravo television show, Inside the Actor’s Studio. It’s especially fitting since the annual Saugerties Artists’ Studio Tour is this weekend, so I figured that I’d do the same here.

To give you all, my dear readers, an idea of how this will work, I’ll use the questions that host James Lipton uses for Inside, which was itself created from the Proust  Questionnaire, which the French writer Marcel Proust used to probe into one’s personality. I hope that, in doing so, I’ll give you all a chance to get to know me, again without literally getting inside my head.

Just a bit of humor to get us started, so without further ado,

Q: What is your favorite word?

A: Adventure, specifically the Japanese equivalent, Bouken. Simply because I like to explore new places, new things, new forms of music and poetry. I like to branch out of my comfort zone, as much as I feel is necessary for me.

Q: What is your least favorite word?

A: Politics, mostly because of what it entails. Not to say that it’s a necessary evil, but at worst, I think of kids throwing mud at each other. While all that’s happening, nothing gets really done.

Q: What turns you on?

A: Tasty food, a great personality and someone who understands me for whom I am, with all my flaws and my strengths.

Q: What turns you off?

A: Bossy people, those who feel like their voices, their opinions, are the matter the most. Those who feel that ignore others who feel differently without doing their research.

Q: What sound or noise do you love?

A: The sythesier that’s present in the Billy Joel song, All for Leyna, along with the calliope sound I’m Only the Good Die Young, but if we’re looking long term, then Press Your Luck‘s sound effect when a spin is in session (this link will let you hear the melody: https://youtu.be/9kfBdZtqN24.

Q: What sound or noise do you hate?

A: Anything shrill, like babies crying loudly, fire alarms, or anything random, mostly because there’s no time for me to prepare myself since I never know when it’s coming.

A perfect example is when I hear a fire truck, if I know it’s coming, I can plug my ears to drown the sound.

Q: What is your favorite curse word?

A: Honestly, I’ve heard so many (as a Bartenders son) that it’s hard to find a favorite one. I usually don’t curse, as a rule, because I’ve been taught to watch what I say. But, if I have to, I’ll say that fuck is a favorite curse word, because I’ve heard it so often.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

A world traveler, mostly so I can bring the flavor of what I see, what I learn to those people at home, or those who don’t have the means to do so.

Q: What profession would you not like to do?

A: A sewer worker or a garbage worker, mostly because my sense of smell is so strong that it would affect my ability to do my job effectively.

Q: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

A:Greetings, Brian, I know you’ve suffered enough, but I want you to know that it was worth it, you ran your race well, now you get rewarded for your journey. Your friends and family have been waiting for you.

 

Well, there you have it, I hope that helps you get into my head, give you an insight into the person I am; I hope that this helps you all see that the person I am here is whom I am in real life, if you have any questions other than these to ask me, please don’t hesitate to message me on the Super-blog.

Hopefully, it will help open up communication, not only here but in real life, where we can all….

Shine On!!

(Repost) I Just Need Some….Affirmation

As you all are aware of, my readers, I’ve been struggling with my narcissistic tendencies, which I’ve mentioned recently on The SuperBlog. I’ve been wrestling with this conundrum even since, how do I say that I’m a good person, even as I have flaws?

The simple answer is to admit that I’m imperfect, that I can make mistakes, that I’m a work in progress, always.

That said, knowing it is one thing , but believing it is another thing all together. I’ve always felt that I am a good person, but my fault was that I always put up the facade that I was put together. I felt like Shiba Takeru from Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, (just one of the long standing Super Sentai series) after his facade has faded into something different. I won’t spoil it for those who don’t know, but suffice it to say, it’s a major change in his life, being shown as a Japanese Lord, with vassals to help him, only for it to come crashing down.

That’s how I feel now that I’m trying to rebuild myself after dealing with my facade fading away. It’s a hard pill to swallow and there are times when I think that I’m a failure.

Then, I think of what I’ve done in my life, those things that really matter to me:

• A Published Poet
• A College Graduate
• The last Board Member of my local Autism Society Chapter
• A volunteer for The ARC Mid Hudson
• Someone who can drive

Someone who has maintained a job for 21 Years

And this are just some of the things that I noted about myself!

That’s really remarkable for an autistic person like myself, especially that last one, since people like me are either underemployed or unemployed.

All that said, I do need to look at things I need to change, like the fact that I’m a very emotional and sensitive person, that I say that I’m sorry for things when I don’t need to say it and that I have a very nasty habit of passing blame to others. That’s just to name a few, but suffice it to say that, I’m not perfect, not by a long shot.

Knowing oneself is one thing, but affirming the person you are, with your accomplishments, your strengths and your flaws can mean just as much, if not more, to yourself and those you meet.

So, this is my affirmation, that I’m autistic, I’m imperfect, that I’m proud of who I am and that I can change if given the opportunity, as we all do. Don’t be afraid to affirm the person you are, look deep inside yourself and get to know the person you are, flaws and all. Be brave, be yourself and, as always…

Shine On!!!

Memories of a Sweet Soiree

https://www.timesunion.com/seen/article/seen-greater-hudson-region-s-22nd-annual-18805360.php

This past March, Dear Readers, I was invited to a wonderful event which I promoted here on The Autistic SuperBlog : The Soirée for Autism.

A bit of backstory is needed to explain why I was at the event. As you all know, Dear Readers, I have been dealing with Autistic Burnout and I’m slowly but surely getting through it.

I needed to make changes in my life, practicing self advocacy, self care and cutting my hours at my job. This was possible due to the support of my friends, including Janine Krusjik, the Executive Director of the Autism Society of the Greater Hudson Region.

At least that’s true as of the time I’m writing this post, as she’s stepping down from that role.

I’d like to say that Janine is a wonderful person whom sees the best in everyone, myself included. She always has this ability to make anyone feel better about themselves. Simply put, I’m very proud to call her my friend.

That, of course, brings me to the Soirée last Friday, she invited myself and my dear friend, Jas, whom is a big Billy Joel fan like myself, to the event. I’m very happy that I went since there was a big turnout and the spotlight was on the guests, but also on the talents involved, piano players and fellow Spectrumites like myself.

I’ve been on an Autism Society Board before and it wasn’t always a pleasant experience, but this event was a joy. I could feel that I wasn’t being left out of anything. Being involved in this event, I can say that that will always be the case.

Until next post, Dear Readers, please stay safe, stay strong and, as always….

Shine On!!!

The Password is Family #LibraryFamily

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 1 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

(Repost) A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 2 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 3 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 4 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Throwback Thursday: Showing Love for Librarians – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Poetry Packed Out: To My Library Family – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Short post I know, Dear Readers, but I wanted to show my love and appreciation not only to Libraries and Library volunteers, but also for Librarians.

I couldn’t go further without giving a shoutout to my wonderful Library Family (whom I’ve shouted out before in the following links) from SUNY Ulster!!

Thank you all for all you do for all of us, helping us become better people as well as helping us all.,,,

Shine On!!!

Links for April (Another Repost)

It’s that month again!!

April, a great month is National Autism Acceptance Month, which are important to me (for obvious reasons, as readers can more than attest to.) For all the blues I feel on February (the 14th was in the past a ” very blue” day for me, for obvious reasons) it all comes to an end when April 1st hits. I suddenly feel a surge of energy, boosting me like a car battery getting a charge for the first time in a long time.

So, suffice it to say, April is a month that means a lot to me, so much so that I feel inclined to share some links that I feel are important for those wanting to know more about autism, if for no other reason that to give others who are new to poetry and/or autism hope, support and community to help them thrive. To that end, I’ll give you all the links with a brief description of each:

The Autism Society of America: http://www.autism-society.org: One of the best places to go for autism research, especially as it comes to support for newcomers and newly diagnosed. A long standing beacon of advocacy for over 50 years, ASA stands among the best of the best, coming from a former Board Member of my local Chapter.

4340 East-West Hwy, Suite 350 Bethesda, Maryland 20814

Global and Regional Autism Syndrome Partnership: https://grasp.org: If you’re a Spectrumite that’s looking for a diagnosis, looking for support groups or need to work on new things, then GRASP is for you. Talking from personal experience (as I do with all the links I’m sharing), GRASP looks to empower Spectrumites so that they feel like you’re never alone. Wise words from an organization where I’m part of their Advisory Board.

369 Lexington Ave, 2nd floor, New York, NY 10017

Center for Spectrum Services: http://centerforspectrumservices.org: When it comes to the Hudson Valley, The Center for Spectrum Services, my old school, is a place where young Spectrumites can feel like being themselves, thanks to 40 plus years of experience, a warm and inviting staff and wonderful two co-founders, Jamey Wolff and Susan Buckler, whose vision and determination has grown CSS into what it is today.

Kingston:
70 Kukuk Lane 
Kingston, NY  12401

845-336-2616

Ellenville: 
4 Yankee Place 
Ellenville, NY  12428 

845-647-6464

Specialisterne: http://specialisterne.com: This company that is based out of Denmark, specializes on giving Spectrumites a chance (and the skills) to work primarily on computer programs, are least from what I know.

As they say from their own website:

 Specialisterne, which translates from Danish as “The Specialists”, is a socially innovative company where the majority of employees have a diagnosis on the autism spectrum. Employees work as business consultants on tasks such as software testing, programming and data entry for the public and private sectors.

We harness the special characteristics and talents of people with autism and use them as a competitive advantage, and as a means to help people with autism secure meaningful employment. Specialisterne has operations in numerous locations around the world.

They also work with Spectrumites from around the world, but for their USA branch, their website is: https://specialisterneusa.com/about/ which explains whom they are, the Director of the US Branch is also my cousin, just for full disclosure.

Autistic Self Advocacy Network: https://autisticadvocacy.org. This penultimate link is primarily for self advocacy for Spectrumites, this gives you a voice to what sometimes slips through the cracks as far as news for Spectrumites, by Spectrumites. I definitely recommend this source for help in self advocacy, especially for newly diagnosed Spectrumites.

Autistic Self Advocacy Network
PO Box 66122
Washington, DC 20035

The ARC: I both live in my current place and also volunteer at my local ARC, which helps people with disabilities have more meaningful and productive lives. The people involved are also working on self advocacy as well as helping people with disabilities learn skills for working in and living in their respective communities.

 1825 K Street, NW, Suite 1200, Washington, DC 20006

So, there you have it, organizations that are considered the best for people on the Spectrum, I ask you all to please help support these organizations so that I, and people like me, can have a chance to change the world for the better. I ask you all on this World Autism Awareness (Acceptance) Day to accept us for whom we are do that we can all..

Shine On!!

(Repost) The Problem with Going off Script

Have you ever been caught off guard with something you never expected, having you go off script and being impromptu, especially in social situations? Forgive me for sounding like Tom Papa from Live from Here, but I have.

Most people know how to go to their social playbook, doing so as if it’s natural. I’ve been known to do so myself, even as the panic in my face and in my eyes may tell a different story.

It’s the panic that can be overcome with both practicing and polishing, but that’s not to say that the feeling of being overwhelmed and unprepared can make even the best speakers flinch under pressure. To maintain composure in those situations can be done, but understand that it takes a lot of practice to do so.

The unwritten social rules that Neurotypicals take for granted should be made known to us in both a meaningful and constructive manner, but there should also be a “grey matter” where we all given a chance to break down and understand our own story. I’ve taken the liberty of sharing some of the rules a fellow blogger feels are important to her, Autistic Hoya and posting the link to her article here (https://www.autistichoya.com/2012/10/important-social-rules-for-both-autistics-and-nonautistics.html?m=1) but here are some I feel are important to me from her list:

1. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

2. Don’t ask other people to do things for you if you’d be unwilling to do comparable things for them.

3. Don’t insult people to their faces unless they’re being bigots. Otherwise, save the insults for private conversations with trusted friends, a counselor, a confessor, or an anonymous website where you omit both their and your names or other identifying information.

4. Thank people when they do something for you.

5. Only ask people questions if you either really care about the answer or you need them to think you do.

6. Don’t ask strangers about their health, religion, politics, gender identity or pronouns, sexual orientation, weight, income, or disability status unless you’re in a safe space or themed event/conference (i.e. a queer pride group, an autism conference, or a religious gathering, for example).

7. Don’t invite yourself to parties or outings. If you find out about a private party or outing that you weren’t invited to, don’t mention it around the people who are invited.

8. Thank people in advance when you expect them to do something for you.

9. Always ask if you need anything from anyone.

10. Default to speaking or acting more respectfully or formally when in doubt about how formal you should be around a particular person or in a particular situation or place.

11. No means no.

These rules, among others, are reason enough in my eyes to make communication a resonable, accessible two way street to understanding and compassion, only then can we be shown respect as we Spectrumites give to others, fellow Spectrumites or not. Only then can misunderstandings be undone and we all can communicate and…

 

Shine On!!!!

(Repost) A Tale of My First Book

Greetings from the Spectrumite Side!!

Ever since I last posted, there has been a lot happening in my life, my first book, Through Autistic Eyes, has been published via an online book publishing company (Blurb.com) thanks to a great friend of mine. The book has made me feel so many words: excited, nervous, concerned, proud, worried, but there was one word that can sum up my feelings more than anything…

Vindicated!

The context of this story needs to be told in order to appreciate my feelings. Through Autistic Eyes has been a project that seemed to be instantaneous, but in reality took me and my friend eight years (or more) to complete.

It all started in my first featured reading in the year 2000 in Woodstock’s Colony Cafe. The host asked me if I had books to sell, to which I sheepishly said that I didn’t, that was when my friend offered to help me make that dream a reality. We had a set plan when we first started in a small cafe in Upstate New York, but there were curveballs that set us both back a long time before the book became a reality, I won’t dwell on them because honestly there were so many setbacks for both of us, suffice it to say that it took patience, courage and a little growing up on my part to make the dream a reality. Now, I’m proud to be a published poet and it feels so incredible to say that and know that dreams can come true!!

If you want to order the book, I’ve included the link to the book below, the proceeds of which go to the Global and Regional Asperger’s Syndrome Partnership (of which I’m also a Board Member.) I only hope that my story and success can help us all reach our individual potential and help us all…

Shine On!!

FYI: Through Autistic Eyes info: “Through Autistic Eyes” Continues to Shine – GRASP