(Repost) Autistic and Proud!!

The late comic Robin Williams told his students in Dead Poets Society that “words and ideas can change the world” if only they were true to themselves, to the people they are, with their strengths, flaws and dreams. It couldn’t be any truer than the recent news that Greta Thunberg, a 16 year old Swedish climate advocate, is TIME’s Person of the Year. 

It also helps and empowers me (and I feel all Spectrumites) that Greta is a fellow Spectrumite, so this is a big deal for our tribe. I know that I’ve always tried to change the world in my daily life in some small way, but I don’t think I could’ve ever thought of doing the Super-blog without the support and encouragement of my friends and family, so for that, I wish to thank you all for all you’ve done for me.

That said, I know that other Spectrumites aren’t so lucky, so I ask all of my readers to consider the low self esteem that we might have from rejection, being left out, feeling that we don’t belong, that what we do isn’t right, that we need to conform to other’s ideals. It’s a rotten feeling, honestly, to know that you aren’t good enough as you are, making addictions to “inspiration porn” a high that we feel that we need. Now, imagine the kind of support one needs to have to become Person of the Year, it needs to defy those odds, and it does in Greta’s case, as the article from TIME itself (the link is here: https://time.com/person-of-the-year-2019-greta-thunberg-choice/) states that:

Thunberg stands on the shoulders—and at the side—of hundreds of thousands of others who’ve been blockading the streets and settling the science, many of them since before she was born.

The support for her and her cause grows with the following statement:

Over the course of little more than a year, a 16-year-old from Stockholm went from a solitary protest on the cobblestones outside her country’s Parliament to leading a worldwide youth movement; from a schoolkid conjugating verbs in French class to meeting with the Secretary-General of the United Nations and receiving audiences with Presidents and the Pope; from a solo demonstrator with a hand-painted slogan (Skolstrejk för Klimatet) to inspiring millions of people across more than 150 countries to take to the streets on behalf of the planet we share.

Of course, I’ve also heard the detractors, those even in the Spectrumite Tribe, telling me how much they wished their lives were different, as Ian Burrell’s opinion article “Greta Thunberg teaches us about autism as much as climate change”, (the link is here: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/23/greta-thunberg-autism) explains their fears as such:

For we live in a society that, far from respecting difference, often seems to fear or ignore those that stand apart from the crowd. Look at how people with autism and learning disabilities are routinely abused, bullied, excluded from school, swept aside in the jobs market and shunted into the worst housing in the toughest parts of town.

What “Cure-bies” (those wanting a cure) don’t realize that whom they are is actually a good wonderful thing, it means that we see the world differently and that can do wonders for our world. Later, Burrell points out that Greta says as much in an interview in the same article, saying that:

“Being different is a gift,”  “It makes me see things from outside the box. I don’t easily fall for lies, I can see through things. If I would’ve been like everyone else, I wouldn’t have started this school strike for instance.”

In her article, How Greta Thunberg’s autism helped her become Time’s Person of the Year, (the link is here: https://thehill.com/changing-america/well-being/468091-opinion-activist-greta-thunbergs-autism-doesnt-hold-her-back) Sam Farmer, a fellow Spectrumite, shows how autism can be thought as a good thing to have because, as he states:

Like Greta, I, too, am an Aspie who often hyperfocuses, obsessively, on what matters most to me, and with solid results. I could not have become proficient at the piano had I not locked myself in practice rooms for hours at a time over many years while studying at music camps and schools. I could have given up early on my almost lifelong struggle at building self-esteem.

Later on in the article, he explains further the brighter light on the Spectrum:

Greta’s successes, when considered within the context of her Asperger’s profile, shed light on the importance of accepting neurodiversity as a significant and meaningful aspect of our social fabric. We acknowledge diversity with respect to race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, skin color and political affiliation, among others.

You see, there are just as many bad things about autism as there are good things, quirks that should be celebrated, not shunned. Things that we see that should be explained, not shut off. Opinions that we have are ones that should be respected, but never silenced. So, we should celebrate our victories as much as discuss our problems with others who get us. The choice is ours to make, but I want to encourage you, dear reader, to celebrate your gifts, what makes you different and find your tribe; your family. Only then can you finally belong and, as you evolve, finally….

 

Shine On!!! Congrats, Greta!!!!

(Repost) Don’t Walk with Me, but Get to Know Me Again!!

After a lot of thought on this, I’ve decided to let you all into my head (not literally, of course) and let you know a little bit more about me, especially on my Birthday month.

The problem for me was: How can I let you all in without it seeming pretentious or fake, so I took a page out of the Bravo television show, Inside the Actor’s StudioIt’s especially fitting since the annual Saugerties Artists’ Studio Tour is this weekend, so I figured that I’d do the same here.

To give you all, my dear readers, an idea of how this will work, I’ll use the questions that host James Lipton uses for Inside, which was itself created from the Proust  Questionnaire, which the French writer Marcel Proust used to probe into one’s personality. I hope that, in doing so, I’ll give you all a chance to get to know me, again without literally getting inside my head.

Just a bit of humor to get us started, so without further ado,

Q: What is your favorite word?

A: Adventure, specifically the Japanese equivalent, Bouken. Simply because I like to explore new places, new things, new forms of music and poetry. I like to branch out of my comfort zone, as much as I feel is necessary for me.

Q: What is your least favorite word?

A: Politics, mostly because of what it entails. Not to say that it’s a necessary evil, but at worst, I think of kids throwing mud at each other. While all that’s happening, nothing gets really done.

Q: What turns you on?

A: Tasty food, a great personality and someone who understands me for whom I am, with all my flaws and my strengths.

Q: What turns you off?

A: Bossy people, those who feel like their voices, their opinions, are the matter the most. Those who feel that ignore others who feel differently without doing their research.

Q: What sound or noise do you love?

A: The sythesier that’s present in the Billy Joel song, All for Leyna, along with the calliope sound I’m Only the Good Die Young, but if we’re looking long term, then Press Your Luck‘s sound effect when a spin is in session (this link will let you hear the melody: https://youtu.be/9kfBdZtqN24.

Q: What sound or noise do you hate?

A: Anything shrill, like babies crying loudly, fire alarms, or anything random, mostly because there’s no time for me to prepare myself since I never know when it’s coming.

A perfect example is when I hear a fire truck, if I know it’s coming, I can plug my ears to drown the sound.

Q: What is your favorite curse word?

A: Honestly, I’ve heard so many (as a Bartenders son) that it’s hard to find a favorite one. I usually don’t curse, as a rule, because I’ve been taught to watch what I say. But, if I have to, I’ll say that fuck is a favorite curse word, because I’ve heard it so often.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

A world traveler, mostly so I can bring the flavor of what I see, what I learn to those people at home, or those who don’t have the means to do so.

Q: What profession would you not like to do?

A: A sewer worker or a garbage worker, mostly because my sense of smell is so strong that it would affect my ability to do my job effectively.

Q: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

A:Greetings, Brian, I know you’ve suffered enough, but I want you to know that it was worth it, you ran your race well, now you get rewarded for your journey. Your friends and family have been waiting for you.

 

Well, there you have it, I hope that helps you get into my head, give you an insight into the person I am; I hope that this helps you all see that the person I am here is whom I am in real life, if you have any questions other than these to ask me, please don’t hesitate to message me on the Super-blog.

Hopefully, it will help open up communication, not only here but in real life, where we can all….

Shine On!!

(Repost) Poetry Packed Out: The Debut of Deciphering My Poetry

At the behest of a fellow artist friend Kelli Bickman, whose art you can see her at http://www.kellibickman.net/, she gave me the idea of doing an explication of the poems I’ve written in the past and present. I figured that if I’m doing this for the first time, I might as well explain why I call this blog The Autistic Super-Blog.

My debut poem for this segment, Autistic Superkid, is one that means a lot to me in more ways than one, it was the first poem I got published in Chronogram as well as being featured in an anthology of Hudson Valley Writers called Riverine (http://www.sunypress.edu/p-5213-riverine.aspx.) To a young autistic poet and be included into such giants of the community such as Da Chen, Barbara Adams, Phillip Levine, Will Nixon, Mikhail Horowitz and Orange County’s current Poet Laureate Robert Milby was (and still is) a very humbling experience and one of my proudest moments as a poet. So without any further ado:

Autistic Superkid

I am and have always been
The autistic superkid
I am one of the first
But not the last
And I am always trying to improve
I am an ambassador of two worlds
Half-citizen of Earth; Half citizen of Wallbrook
This is how I truly am
Even though it’s not how I look.

When I wrote what I now consider my signature poem, I was only discovering what my having autism was as a young adult, what limitations and challenges I’d have to face throughout my life. It was at the suggestion of my late college mentor, the Late Larry Berk, that I went to look up books written by the famous livestock engineer Temple Grandin.  She recounted in her books, Thinking in Pictures and Emergence: Labeled Autistic the very same challenges I was facing now and for that I wish to thank her so much for her inspiration (and for being so gracious for a photo with her.)

Back to my poem, that spark that was lit by reading Temple’s books, stoked by my late mentor’s suggestion opened up so many possibilities for me, if she could achieve that kind of success, then what’s stopping me from doing the same? I wanted to convey that struggle of fitting in and standing out into one poem, noting the challenges (like Wallbrook from the 1988 film Rain Man)  but also giving that same spark of empowerment to others like me.

I really hope to make this a fixture on the Superblog, so I welcome any comments and critiques, but I hope that my poem helps people to step out of the dark and….

Shine on!!!

(Repost) I Just Need Some….Affirmation

As you all are aware of, my readers, I’ve been struggling with my narcissistic tendencies, which I’ve mentioned recently on The SuperBlog. I’ve been wrestling with this conundrum even since, how do I say that I’m a good person, even as I have flaws?

The simple answer is to admit that I’m imperfect, that I can make mistakes, that I’m a work in progress, always.

That said, knowing it is one thing , but believing it is another thing all together. I’ve always felt that I am a good person, but my fault was that I always put up the facade that I was put together. I felt like Shiba Takeru from Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, (just one of the long standing Super Sentai series) after his facade has faded into something different. I won’t spoil it for those who don’t know, but suffice it to say, it’s a major change in his life, being shown as a Japanese Lord, with vassals to help him, only for it to come crashing down.

That’s how I feel now that I’m trying to rebuild myself after dealing with my facade fading away. It’s a hard pill to swallow and there are times when I think that I’m a failure.

Then, I think of what I’ve done in my life, those things that really matter to me:

  • A Published Poet
  • A College Graduate
  • The last Board Member of my local Autism Society Chapter
  • A volunteer for The ARC Mid Hudson
  • Someone who can drive
    Someone who has maintained a job for 21 Years

And this are just some of the things that I noted about myself!

That’s really remarkable for an autistic person like myself, especially that last one, since people like me are either underemployed or unemployed.

All that said, I do need to look at things I need to change, like the fact that I’m a very emotional and sensitive person, that I say that I’m sorry for things when I don’t need to say it and that I have a very nasty habit of passing blame to others. That’s just to name a few, but suffice it to say that, I’m not perfect, not by a long shot.

Knowing oneself is one thing, but affirming the person you are, with your accomplishments, your strengths and your flaws can mean just as much, if not more, to yourself and those you meet.

So, this is my affirmation, that I’m autistic, I’m imperfect, that I’m proud of who I am and that I can change if given the opportunity, as we all do. Don’t be afraid to affirm the person you are, look deep inside yourself and get to know the person you are, flaws and all. Be brave, be yourself and, as always…

Shine On!!!

21 Years and Counting!!

( 21 years and counting!! I’m so proud about this accomplishment, stay strong and, as always….Shine On!!)

Hi, guys and gals!! It’s Brian, here again speaking to you all from the final frontier on the eve of an important event in my life. I’ve been at my job in an upstate Supermarket for 14 (now 21) years, while that may not seem like a great accomplishment, when I read the tragic tales of fellow Spectrumites who’ve given up on the work force or find it difficult, along with the fact that 80-85% are underemployed, it makes the celebration even more sweeter. To that end, I’ve been thinking of things that I’ve learned in keeping my job and I could boil it down to three important things:

  1. Let your personality shine: For all the stigma we as Spectrumites recieve about being savants and all that, I think that it’s important to let who we are as people shine, the fact that most focus on details, take pride in our work, are loyal and punctual should be enough to ensure that our talents will excuse our faults.
  2. Disclose only when neccesary: As my dear friend and fellow Spectrumite, Jesse Saperstein mentions in page 165 of his awesome second book (which I highly recommend) that disclosing is a tightrope act: “When do you disclose and whom do you want to tell?” That’s a very good question and, while the choice is ultimatly yours to make, consider this also, what can be considered a challenge to do might be the best choice for those around you. My supervisor has told me that by disclosing to her, she’s able to see the best in me both now and for her grandson in the future. Others who know me call me an inspiration for keeping my job. The point is simply this, disclosing now can help piece together ways to tackle problems that come up in the future.
  3. Relax and do the job well: It’s not easy to relax while on the job, it sounds like an oxymoron, but when I statred out, I used to hyperventilate if I didn’t get everything done in the afforded time, but I needed to remind myself that stress (getting overwhelmed, for example) can kill a person if they fail to relax at least once in a while. If you can relax, then you feel like you can do the job you know how to do really well, filling you with pride in a job well done.

Again, it’s not easy to do this, but I can only hope that I’ve helped in some small way guide you to success in the future, good luck!!!

Memories of a Sweet Soiree

https://www.timesunion.com/seen/article/seen-greater-hudson-region-s-22nd-annual-18805360.php

This past March, Dear Readers, I was invited to a wonderful event which I promoted here on The Autistic SuperBlog : The Soirée for Autism.

A bit of backstory is needed to explain why I was at the event. As you all know, Dear Readers, I have been dealing with Autistic Burnout and I’m slowly but surely getting through it.

I needed to make changes in my life, practicing self advocacy, self care and cutting my hours at my job. This was possible due to the support of my friends, including Janine Krusjik, the Executive Director of the Autism Society of the Greater Hudson Region.

At least that’s true as of the time I’m writing this post, as she’s stepping down from that role.

I’d like to say that Janine is a wonderful person whom sees the best in everyone, myself included. She always has this ability to make anyone feel better about themselves. Simply put, I’m very proud to call her my friend.

That, of course, brings me to the Soirée last Friday, she invited myself and my dear friend, Jas, whom is a big Billy Joel fan like myself, to the event. I’m very happy that I went since there was a big turnout and the spotlight was on the guests, but also on the talents involved, piano players and fellow Spectrumites like myself.

I’ve been on an Autism Society Board before and it wasn’t always a pleasant experience, but this event was a joy. I could feel that I wasn’t being left out of anything. Being involved in this event, I can say that that will always be the case.

Until next post, Dear Readers, please stay safe, stay strong and, as always….

Shine On!!!

The Password is Family #LibraryFamily

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 1 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

(Repost) A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 2 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 3 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

A Spectrumite’s Introduction into the Artists’ World: Part 4 – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Throwback Thursday: Showing Love for Librarians – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Poetry Packed Out: To My Library Family – The Autistic SuperBlog (wordpress.com)

Short post I know, Dear Readers, but I wanted to show my love and appreciation not only to Libraries and Library volunteers, but also for Librarians.

I couldn’t go further without giving a shoutout to my wonderful Library Family (whom I’ve shouted out before in the following links) from SUNY Ulster!!

Thank you all for all you do for all of us, helping us become better people as well as helping us all.,,,

Shine On!!!

(Repost) The Problem with Going off Script

Have you ever been caught off guard with something you never expected, having you go off script and being impromptu, especially in social situations? Forgive me for sounding like Tom Papa from Live from Here, but I have.

Most people know how to go to their social playbook, doing so as if it’s natural. I’ve been known to do so myself, even as the panic in my face and in my eyes may tell a different story.

It’s the panic that can be overcome with both practicing and polishing, but that’s not to say that the feeling of being overwhelmed and unprepared can make even the best speakers flinch under pressure. To maintain composure in those situations can be done, but understand that it takes a lot of practice to do so.

The unwritten social rules that Neurotypicals take for granted should be made known to us in both a meaningful and constructive manner, but there should also be a “grey matter” where we all given a chance to break down and understand our own story. I’ve taken the liberty of sharing some of the rules a fellow blogger feels are important to her, Autistic Hoya and posting the link to her article here (https://www.autistichoya.com/2012/10/important-social-rules-for-both-autistics-and-nonautistics.html?m=1) but here are some I feel are important to me from her list:

  1. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

  2. Don’t ask other people to do things for you if you’d be unwilling to do comparable things for them.

  3. Don’t insult people to their faces unless they’re being bigots. Otherwise, save the insults for private conversations with trusted friends, a counselor, a confessor, or an anonymous website where you omit both their and your names or other identifying information.

  4. Thank people when they do something for you.

  5. Only ask people questions if you either really care about the answer or you need them to think you do.

  6. Don’t ask strangers about their health, religion, politics, gender identity or pronouns, sexual orientation, weight, income, or disability status unless you’re in a safe space or themed event/conference (i.e. a queer pride group, an autism conference, or a religious gathering, for example).

  7. Don’t invite yourself to parties or outings. If you find out about a private party or outing that you weren’t invited to, don’t mention it around the people who are invited.

  8. Thank people in advance when you expect them to do something for you.

  9. Always ask if you need anything from anyone.

  10. Default to speaking or acting more respectfully or formally when in doubt about how formal you should be around a particular person or in a particular situation or place.

  11. No means no.

These rules, among others, are reason enough in my eyes to make communication a resonable, accessible two way street to understanding and compassion, only then can we be shown respect as we Spectrumites give to others, fellow Spectrumites or not. Only then can misunderstandings be undone and we all can communicate and…

 

Shine On!!!!

(Repost) A Tale of My First Book

Greetings from the Spectrumite Side!!

Ever since I last posted, there has been a lot happening in my life, my first book, Through Autistic Eyes, has been published via an online book publishing company (Blurb.com) thanks to a great friend of mine. The book has made me feel so many words: excited, nervous, concerned, proud, worried, but there was one word that can sum up my feelings more than anything…

Vindicated!

The context of this story needs to be told in order to appreciate my feelings. Through Autistic Eyes has been a project that seemed to be instantaneous, but in reality took me and my friend eight years (or more) to complete.

It all started in my first featured reading in the year 2000 in Woodstock’s Colony Cafe. The host asked me if I had books to sell, to which I sheepishly said that I didn’t, that was when my friend offered to help me make that dream a reality. We had a set plan when we first started in a small cafe in Upstate New York, but there were curveballs that set us both back a long time before the book became a reality, I won’t dwell on them because honestly there were so many setbacks for both of us, suffice it to say that it took patience, courage and a little growing up on my part to make the dream a reality. Now, I’m proud to be a published poet and it feels so incredible to say that and know that dreams can come true!!

If you want to order the book, I’ve included the link to the book below, the proceeds of which go to the Global and Regional Asperger’s Syndrome Partnership (of which I’m also a Board Member.) I only hope that my story and success can help us all reach our individual potential and help us all…

Shine On!!

FYI: Through Autistic Eyes info: “Through Autistic Eyes” Continues to Shine – GRASP